Tag Archive | children

Would you just skip it?

What if you knew for sure that you would see or hear something unusual? What if you knew for certain that you would experience something extraordinary? Would you miss it?

Oh, I know that Saturday mornings are just right for getting errands done, picking up the dry cleaning or purchasing a new shower curtain. Saturdays are perfect for boot camp workouts, kids’ soccer tournaments, or – on crisp sunny days – hiking in Harriman State Park. On Saturday mornings, you can meet your cousin for coffee or visit your niece after surgery. I know… on Saturdays you can even just sleep in after an over-scheduled week.

But what if being in Shabbat on a Saturday morning promised something that transcends all of that? Would you just skip it?

If you come to synagogue on Saturday morning instead of everything else you do…

Perhaps the davenner* will chant El Adon in a different tune, not the expected tune, but in the one that was sung in your childhood when you sat next to your grandfather in shul.*

Perhaps you’ll watch as five-year-old twins run purposefully down the aisle and onto the bima* at the start of the Torah service to be handed silver Torah crowns which they hold up proudly as if they are the whole point of the service. You definitely find yourself grinning as you watch them walk solemnly behind the adult holding the Torah.

Perhaps you’ll see a proud nonagenarian ascend the bima, slow but sure-footed, to accept an aliyah* and receive a blessing for the 80th anniversary of his bar mitzvah.

Perhaps you’ll see a seven-month-old baby girl receive her Hebrew name on the bima and lean forward to send a big, sloppy toothless grin in the direction of her great- grandmother for whose husband she has just been named.

Baby girl

Perhaps you will rise when the Prayer for Healing is chanted and you will have a clear picture in your mind of your friend who is recuperating from surgery. You will sense that your prayer can reach him in his Boston hospital.

Perhaps you’ll be invited to open the ark when the Torah is placed back there after the recessional and when you look at the colorfully decorated Torahs, the congregation sings Hashivenu,  “Return us to the days of old.” And you aren’t sure why, but you feel something in your heart unlock.

Torah coverTorah

Perhaps you’ll see a man chant the haftara* to honor his brother’s yahrzeit* and as you follow in the English, you realize that this story of Jonathan and David from the Book of Samuel was your haftara when you became bat mitzvah. As you pay closer attention, you remember all the words.

Perhaps you’ll sit down next to a woman you don’t know well, but has always reminded you from a distance of your mother. And as you silently tear up, missing your mother so much even after 24 years, this fellow congregant hands you a tissue. And you feel your mother’s soul closer than you have in years.

Tears

Perhaps the words of the Dvar Torah* will strike a chord deep within you, answering a question that has been lurking in your mind, an important question not yet articulated.

If any one of these transcendent moments were likely to happen on a Saturday morning, would you just miss it?

Holiness does not arrive with trumpets and drums but with quietly perceived moments.

All of these moments do happen. Will you be there with me to experience them? Life holds the promise of being so much more than our own routine.

A community of holiness awaits you every Saturday at nine. I’ll see you there.

Rabbi Paula Mack Drill

*Translations so we’re all on the same page:

Davenner – one who is praying, in this case, the one who is leading the prayers.

Shul – a cozy Yiddish word meaning synagogue.

Bima – platform at the front of a synagogue where the Torah service takes place.

Aliyah – the honor of reciting blessings before and after a portion of the Torah (also called an aliyah) is chanted.

Haftara – a section from the Book of Prophets chanted on Shabbat and holiday mornings.

Yahrzeit – the anniversary of the death of a person according to the Jewish calendar.

Dvar Torah – literally, words of Torah, designates a sermon or a teaching given by a rabbi or a knowledgeable person at Shabbat services.

Kulanu Means All of Us

I made plans for dinner with a friend who returned from a year of rabbinical study in Israel. On impulse, I invited him to arrive early to the OJC for our appointment in order to see Kulanu (our children’s education program) in action. At 5:30 on Tuesday, I walked Andrew through the bright, light hallways of our new Kulanu wing, the Walerstein Family Center for Jewish Living and Learning. So much was going on!
Kindergarten,1st and 2nd graders sat on mats in the Daniel Beer Music and Tefillah Room with their teachers and Amichai Margolis, our Music Director. To the lively tunes Amichai played on guitar, they sang enthusiastically (and loudly!), preparing for Mitzvah Day when we’ll be singing for the elders of Esplanade on the Palisades.
In several different rooms, in small clusters, volunteer congregants mentored one or two learners in reading Hebrew. The Yachad program empowers children to conquer the decoding and practice required to read fluently. We saw heads bent toward each other, and heard a low rumble of reading that was punctuated by an occasional “Great!” and even some applause.
Teen madrichim (teacher assistants) were engaged in the Beit Midrash (Learning Center) with Youth Director Sharon Rappaport. Their monthly training in leadership and education skills fosters their sense of dedication and responsibility. I’m not exactly sure what they were doing but it definitely involved Jenga and Oreo cookies!
Rabbinical student Ben Varon teaches a parent education course during Kulanu hours every other week. Parents have the opportunity to model lifelong learning for their children.

At the close of two hours of hevruta (partnered) study, learning in the Jewish living room, and Yachad, all of the learners and several parents gathered in the Sanctuary to sing with Amichai. Rabbi Scheff and Rabbinical student Jesse Nagelberg danced in the aisle! We all stood together to sing HaTikvah, Israel’s national anthem. What an incredible learning experience! This is not your Zayde’s cheder… or my own Hebrew School experience…or even our successful Religious School as it was at OJC for decades. This is something brand new.
Kulanu means All of Us, and as Andrew and I walked amidst all that energy and joy, I felt how aptly the name fits our education program. All of us who identify with the sacred obligation of educating our children can participate in Kulanu. Seeing the program through the eyes of a guest was satisfying.

I felt proud of OJC after a year of dreaming, strategizing and working hard to bring this vision to fruition.
If you know a Jewish child who is not currently receiving education or if you are interested in getting involved, contact Rabbi Miriam, Kulanu Director, at Kulanu@theojc.org.
Who will build the Judaism of the next generation? Kulanu! All of us!
Join us!

B’yedidut, Rabbi Paula Mack Drill

Local Jews

It’s a cold Sunday morning in February, the time is 8:55am. Sitting by the window in our Daily Chapel, I have a good view of the synagogue driveway.

Unfortunately, there are no cars entering. From my spot, I can actually see two blocks down the main street that approaches the driveway. Not a car in sight.

And we have 8 people in the room.

And 2 of the 8 are saying Kaddish.

Just up from shiva for their loved ones, they have come to the synagogue on this morning to find solace in community, and I am afraid we are about to fail them.

I pick up my phone, open my texts, and call up my chat group “Local Jews.” These are the families with younger children who have moved into our synagogue neighborhood over the last few years. They walk to synagogue on Shabbat. They tailgate with Rabbi Hersh and his wife Loni in the parking lot after services when the weather is nice. Their children wait around for me to change my clothes and bring out the boxes of Good Humor eclairs. They share coupons to the food store in our text group, and debate whether hot dogs are sandwiches. They wish each other a Shabbat shalom.

I’ve never used this particular forum to seek support for the synagogue, so I hesitate. I don’t want my neighbors to feel that I don’t respect the boundaries between the social neighborly connection we share and the synagogue connection we have in common. I don’t want them to feel any sense of guilt if they must turn down a rabbi’s request.

But time is growing short. And the window of opportunity is closing. So I text:

“Good morning! Don’t usually (ever) do this, but there are a couple of people saying Kaddish this morning and we are 2 short of a minyan. Can anyone drop by for 15 minutes?”

I hold my breath.

Seconds later my phone buzzes: “Gives us a few minutes. Dragging kids from beds.”

Ten minutes later, mom and her two young teens walk into the room, smiles on their faces, siddurim in hand. Imagine that, I think to myself. Teenagers who have just rolled out of bed, leaning into and giggling at their mother’s side. On a Sunday morning at 9am.

The sight takes me back to my own youth, to the many Sunday mornings I spent sitting under my father‘s right arm, surrounded by people a generation (or two) ahead of me. I recall how they greeted me with warm smiles and expressions of appreciation for my presence. They made me feel seen. They made me feel important. They made me feel connected.

My guilt over crossing some imaginary boundary dissipates, as I remember why this family moved into the neighborhood in the first place, around the corner from the OJC. They chose to make the synagogue and its community a focal point of their lives. For their own benefit and for the benefit of others.

Do I wish that people would want to come to services on Sunday morning for a half hour without prompting? Of course I do. But I’ll take neighbors who eagerly answer the call when they are needed any day of the week. And I’ll always cherish that moment when a teen sees the look on the face of an adult, telling them they’ve made a difference in someone’s life.

Local Jews, I promise not to abuse the privilege of having you as neighbors. Unless you give me permission to do so!

Rayna and Zev, I see you. You are more important to us than you know. And while you may not be able to name the feeling now, I hope that someday you will look back and recognize the way connection to community was cultivated in your lives. Mom, great job.

Rabbi Craig Scheff

The resilient child within

The nine year-old Israeli boy with the large soulful eyes stands alone on the stage, his teacher-counselor-accompanist off to the side on a stool with guitar in hand. The youth looks totally relaxed, the microphone a therapeutic pet in his hands.

The strings begin to reverberate their introduction and the child opens his mouth to sing. Time stops and the tears begin to flow from the eyes of the 18 American guests and the 12 Israeli teachers, therapists and foster parents in the audience. The children gathered as a makeshift audience put their arms atop each others’ shoulders and begin to sway side to side. The boy’s sweet voice ascends and descends like an angel on a ladder, and with it our souls soar, almost out of control with the swing of our emotions.

Knowing that the boy’s biological parents are not present, that the child has suffered emotional abuse (at the very least), that at a tender age his life is broken in so many ways, and that but for the presence of the caregivers in the room he might be totally lost, it is no surprise that the group is overcome with emotion in hearing his sweet and powerful voice. But to understand his Hebrew words is to be filled with awe, appreciation, inspiration and hope:

“Be not afraid to fall in love,
That the heart may break,
Be not afraid to lose along the way.

To get up every morning 
And to go out into the world
And to try everything before it ends

To search from whence we came
And in the end always return to the beginning
To find yet more beauty in everything
And to dance until overcome
By exhaustion or love.

(Before it ends, Idan Raichel)

Resilience has been defined as the power to be able to recover readily from adversity or challenge. And it is one of those human traits that I consider to be among God’s greatest gifts.

This past week, seventeen of our community members have been in Israel witnessing the power of resilience. We have seen resilience in the ability of an abused child to sing before a crowd of peers and strangers; in the work of Yoav Apelboim, the executive director of Kfar Ahava Youth Village who sees too much suffering, yet continues to make meaningful improvements in the lives of so many; in a society that resumes school and work a day after rockets rained down on its homes; in a kibbutz that has reinvented itself to stand as a beacon of religious pluralism and an advocate for societal change in the face of extremism.


We have seen resilience in ourselves: in our ability to make the sacrifices of time and resources to do the work that takes us out of our comfort zones year after year; in our willingness to suffer the emotional toll of being inside the suffering of children; in sharing the pains of loss, memory and empathy inside our own community family.

We have seen resilience from afar, as the natural elements have wreaked havoc across the ocean, from fires on the west coast to snow on the east coast, families have abandoned homes to survive and begin anew, and individual acts of kindness and sacrifice have eased the burden of others.

There is something within the human spirit that enables us to get up every morning, to go out into the world, and to try everything before it ends. Despite the disappointment, despite the pain, despite the knowledge that we may not complete our task and that our hearts may be broken yet again. To me, there is nothing more miraculous or more divine.


Join us on Monday night, November 19 at 7:30pm, as we explore “Community preparedness and resilience in the face of threats: Lessons from Israel” with Dr. Danny Brom, Director of the Israel Psychotrauma Center. Please register at OJCcares4U@gmail.com for an evening of learning, reflection and discovery. From the scientific to the spiritual, we’ll learn a little more about what keeps us going, and what we can do to bolster that ability “to dance until overcome by exhaustion or love.”

Oh, by the way, the little boy with the angelic voice? His name happens to be Or, meaning light. And as is his name, so is he. May he always know it, and may he always be.

Shabbat shalom from Israel, and hope to see you on Mitzvah Day Sunday!

Rabbi Craig Scheff

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