There’s a tension in this week’s Torah portion, Terumah, around how the Israelites are asked to contribute to the construction of the Mishkan (Tabernacle). On the one hand, gifts are solicited “from every person whose heart moves them” (Exodus 25:2). However, the next verse continues, “And these are the gifts that you shall accept from them: gold, silver, and copper; blue, purple, and crimson yarns, fine linen, goats’ hair; tanned ram skins, dolphin skins, and acacia wood; oil for lighting, spices for the anointing oil and for the aromatic incense; lapis lazuli and other stones for setting, for the ephod and for the breastpiece” (Exodus 25:3-7). The Israelites are invited to give of their own free will, but only certain gifts are acceptable.

As I am a few months away from getting married, I can’t help but read this list through the lens of a wedding registry. When we are invited to weddings, we may feel genuinely moved to give gifts. Yet couples do not typically ask guests to bring whatever they want, instead creating a registry to help guide their guests. Rather than go “off-registry,” we are meant to channel our generosity through the clearly-defined list of things the couple would actually find useful, beautiful, or meaningful.

God’s “registry” for the Mishkan is not so different. God wants to encourage the Israelites’ generosity and participation in this communal building project. The list of acceptable donations ensures that everything will have a purpose, and that the project will have a unified aesthetic and shared vision. The same is true of wedding registries. Every item is chosen intentionally, every item is desired, and every item contributes to the shared home the couple is building. These gifts also bring the givers into the home, as we remember our loved ones when we use the gifts they gave.

A wedding registry is also aspirational and forward-thinking. On any given day, I might choose a kitchen item based on cost and immediate need. For a wedding, however, I consider other factors, too–what is beautiful, what will last, what will elevate our shared life over time. The instructions for the Mishkan show the same sensibility, suggesting that it will be a structure that is beautiful as well as functional, one that will elevate the spiritual life of the Israelite community for many years to come.

We give gifts to mark milestones and status changes, for occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and retirements. Wedding gifts celebrate the new status of a couple’s relationship and the formation of a new shared home. The Mishkan, too, celebrates the new relationship between the Israelites and God after receiving the Torah, and a new dwelling-place for God and the Israelites to share.  By requesting specific gifts, God gives the Israelites a way to tangibly participate in this new relationship. Their gifts are not random; they add beauty to the sacred space and the life God will be sharing with the Israelite community.

Parshat Terumah reminds us of the importance of balancing genuine generosity with a shared vision. When we align our gifts—of time, resources, and creativity—with the needs and aspirations of our communities, we help build spaces and relationships that are enduring and elevated.

Rabbi Claire Shoyer